Because Hart had too much free time on his hands.

The title has nothing at all to do with my post. It’s just as a result of an assignment, which is due 6 hours from now. Catharsis? Maybe.

Anyhow,  I should probably get “I am a lazybum” tattoo-ed on my arm. Or my lower-back. But that would be too slutty, no? How about a butterfly tattoo? Or a Scorpio? How about a star on my ankle? Or my wrist? Hmm.
I am going to graduate this year, and one thing that I REALLY need to do is to pull my act together, pull up my socks. In short, to STOP procrastinating.  I am such a slacker that I have zero trust in my capabilities now. Sighsigh.

Moving on to something constructive. I have a question for everyone who comes across/reads my blog. Do you need a purpose in life? If yes, what is your purpose in life?
I really have no purpose in life. I think I used to have one when I was younger. I used to believe in bringing a “change”. Remember Gandhi’s quote, “Be the change you want to see in the world”? I used to write it everywhere; from messenger nicknames, to people’s scrap/ autograph books. I actually believed in bringing about a change, super-man style. But I think, I have turned into a MAJOR pessimist now, and as unhealthy as it is, I am happy being one. I don’t believe in changes, or doing something awesome in life. Just taking life as it comes. I think it’s a good enough purpose for me. And, before I get all emo and start wrist-slitting in a corner, I will move on  and discuss..Damon Salvatore? Such a gorgeous  vampire! So.. so swoon-worthy. His eyes, oh Jesus, his eyes! <3
Also, I got a “I <3 Damon Salvatore” t-shirt on Valentine’s day. My mother thinks I need psychiatric help, because of my serious addiction to anything to do with vampires.

P.S: I am so bored and awazaar, I am actually watching “New Moon” on Star Movies, right now. Somebody shoot me, please?

Oh, and something to restore my idealism. The Egyptian revolution, which had people from EVERY walk of life, coming together and unifying for ONE common goal was immensely inspiring, to say the least. Their persistence, their optimism, their loyalty to their cause, and everything that went into Mobarak stepping down was beyond words. People hoping for something along those lines in Pakistan really need a reality check. We are a nation which is divided on the basis of religion, sects, sub-sects, castes, provinces, schools of thought. There is just so much division between our people, that unlike the Egyptians, we can not unite for one common goal. I am not being pessimistic here, just being a realist. For Pakistanis to bring about a “revolution” of sorts in our country, we need to let go of our differences. And honestly, I don’t see it happening, any time soon.

The curious case of “rishta aunties”.

Spotted: a pretty looking girl, with no ring on her finger and, there’s no way on mother earth that she’s going to escape the wrath of a “rishta aunty”.These well-connected aunties are like vultures, preying  any unmarried girl, who is in her early 20s (and sometimes even in her late teens). The “rishta aunties” with their in-built binoculars  arrange marriages of the prettiest of girls to the ugliest dudes. For a girl the best way to piss off a rishta aunty is to tell her, ” I am studying blahblahblah these days, and I plan to get a masters degree in blahblahblah, oh and I have big career plans too”. Take my word for it, no rishta aunty will ever trouble you after this. Well-educated, working girls, who are smart and happen to have an opinion on things that actually matter (these things exclude the latest collection of LV bags or the new lawn print everyone is donning), are every rishta aunty’s nightmare. Because let’s face it, guys DO NOT want their wives to be smart women. They would much rather prefer pretty, fair girls with haystack for a brain. If you happen to be fair (great emphasis on this word), pretty, and petite then you’re the puuuurffectt prey for the rishta aunties and soon thou shall be hooked up with an average, or sometimes, ugly looking dude, who can easily feed a Somalian family for a month with his daddy’s business, but would much rather spend it on fancy cars, the latest model of the blackberry, or branded clothing that aint gonna make him look any prettier.
These aunties pressurise parents, who for a change actually believe in educating their daughters and letting them have a career of their own, to get them married and ultimately quash their plans of going for a higher degree and having a career of their own.  Their favourite places to hang out are committee parties, weddings (duh. Special targets include the friends of the bride), fancy restaurants, funerals (yes, EVEN those!), boutiques and, race-course park ( a friend of mine was once attacked by a rishta aunty there).  They can’t rest in peace, unless and until they’ve got everyone in their bigass khandaan, neighbourhood, children of family friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends, facebook friends etcectra etcectra, married to each other and eventually making  Lahore (where everyyyyyybodyyyy knows everyyybodyyyy) an even more inter-related city. But these aunties exist everywhere, not just Lahore. With the advent of cellphones and social networking sites, these aunties pass on numbers and facebook profiles for potential proposals. Please join as many controversial/ eye-brow raising/ tabboo pages on facebook as you can. Joining a page which supports gays/lesbians are a must, so is a page that aims at killing future mother-in-laws.Turning shaadis into business, the wrath of the rishta aunty is hard to avoid. The best way to avoid them is to well…grow a beard.

No title is worthy of this classic quote.

“Nelson Mandela is that dude who plays football na?”–F.A.P

Uh-oh.

There comes a time in your life, when things/incidents, which you thought only take place in movies and those soppy soap opera, start happening in real life. Other than the frequent, “HOLY COW, WTF!? $#@^#%”,  you are left with nothing worthwhile to say. These things/incidents render you speechless, and make you think of completely irrational and fairy-taleish solutions to your problems (thanks Disney. Pfft.).  Is this the point in our life when we finally enter our grown-up world, or is it just another dramatic point in our lives?

Whattodooooooo.

Bel far niente.

So, true to my “I don’t want to indulge in any constructive activity, but will merrily waste time doing absolutely nothing at all”-self, I am writing after 25 days.
Summers are here, and hence, I take it as an opportunity to open my “Whiny book of 1001 Whinings”, which is particularly relevant  this season. Did I ever mention how much I hate summers? If not, here I am expressing extreme hate for summers. I hate hate hate them. Especially, summers coupled with extreme boredom, and literally nothing to do. ARGH!
The heat is scorching (yes, fellow Lahoris. You know what I mean, right?); the electricity crisis is being a pain in the rear-side ( god knows what I did in my previous lifetime to suffer THIS!); lack of places to hang-out ( IS THERE ANYTHING TO DO IN LAHORE OTHER THAN GOING TO M.M.ALAM TO EAT? Sadly, I don’t think so.); lack of paid internships (pfft.); pathetic internet connection ( I don’t even want to get started on that. WORLDCALL IS A MONEY-THUGGING WHORE!). The only saving grace about this summer are the World Cup matches. I am SO happy at Brazil being kicked out of the quarter-finals by three bald Dutch men, and what was up with Italy and France this time?! Spain V Portugal was like Football Porn, as put by someone who nagged me to death to write a post. But, OMG! Such higher degree of hotness is a very rare thing. I have had a crush on Ronaldo, ever since I was 14. And then came the Euro 2004 final against Greece, and the footage of Ronny crying. EEEEE! My larvee multiplied by 20  at the sight of tears rolling down his perfectly tanned cheeks. *dreamy sigh. Oh, I can’t count the times I’ve imagined saying “I do”  to Ronaldo, on some beautiful Madeira island. But, except for the match against North Korea, he was invisible this time around. Pathetic performance, to say the least. Now methinks, he’s better of being a gigolo, than a football player. Anyhow, since I am crazy about everything Spanish, including men, I was happy that Spain won. Now I want them to win the World Cup too. Viva la Espana! Oh, and I think, Mommy dearest has a crush on David Villa. Seriously. :/
Moving on, a game of “Never have I ever..”, with 5 girls is shitloads of fun. Not engaging into any details here but, a sleepover, bars of dairy milk, a tub of ice-cream, and a game of “never have I ever” is SHEER AWESOMENESS. From realizing that you were not a normal teenager, to the fact that your friend has a new boyfriend; it’s just so much fun. *wink wink.
Also, I have finished the vampire-lore, and have started (and already halfway through) “Eat Pray Love”. I highly recommend this book to every female out there.  It’s a real-life journey of Elizabeth Gilbert, through Italy, India, and Indonesia. And, it’s actually a very well-written book, which is being turned into a movie starring, Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem (Vicky Christina Barcelona, anyone?). And since, I am going to finish it in a day or two, PLEASE RECOMMEND ME MORE BOOKS!
Since, “INTERNSHIP” has always been sprawled across my summer agenda, every summer, this time I am interning at research based law firm. The interview can be best summed up as “Rape”, but I got in. So, YAY ME! As to why it was “Rape”, I was told to give an analysis on Jane Austen’s biography and all of her work, on the spot. Without any prior warning! I mean, HULLO? I WAS  SUPPOSED TO BE INTERVIEWED FOR A LAW-BASED INTERNSHIP! Now, all I hope is that they have good poondi there. I know hot bOi will be immensely proud of me. No?
And lastly: Dear Rain-gods, do I have to perform the rain dance for you to have some mercy upon us? Please be kind to us and give us rain. Lots of rain. Amen.

Of coffee shots, random babble, and me.

I see I haven’t been able to live up to my new year’s resolution: I will not slack. Unfortunately, the laziness in me is as steadfast, and constant as  ever. Anyhow, the primary reason I have slacked so much in updating my bog is: a) I was being raped by finals; and b) Because let’s admit it, I had a writer’s block. Well, not so much of a writer’s block, but this weird lethargic feeling, that takes over you mentally and physically, and as a result of it, all you do is sleep, or act like a 24/7 pms-ing bitch . Sleep ,or throw around tantrums. As the awesome hot bOi in my life put it, a text-conversation with me was something like: I hate you..snore, you’re an ass..snore, enough of chemistry..snore, I am awesome.. snore.
In my defense, I JUST GOT OVER WITH SECOND YEAR LLB FINALS! Cut poor lil’ me some slack.*makes a sad pouting face. I’ve been living on coke-coffee shots, energy drinks, coffee, and have successfully managed to lose a lot of inches. Oh, and I don’t need to dress-up for Halloween; to my nani’s utter distress, I look like a zombie now. Yay me. NAAT. On a brighter note, well..not as bright as I initially thought it would be, 3 months of absolutely nothing to do. Yay me! But, I am bored already. Boo?
Now I need to really budge my lazy bum, and get myself an internship. Or, a paid job. I don’t mind some monie$ in my empty wallet, you see.

I have been pondering over what to blog about for the past one week, since somebody, and you know who you are *glares*, has been nagging me daily to update my boring dull blog. Lot’s been going on. The Facebook/Twitter/Wikipedia ban got lifted by the LHC, which seriously needs to prioritize itself. I mean, what the hell was that? They could have simply banned the URL instead of blocking whole sites. But it’s done and dusted and a lot of time has been spent arguing over the ban, and the ban’s lifted now. So, yay! But hey, is it just me or post-ban Facebook has gotten really boring?
Then there were the attacks on Ahmadiyya Mosques (go ahead and fine/jail me for saying mosques instead of “ibbadat gaah”). The really pathetic thing was that no political party openly condemned the attacks. It’s just really sad that our government is unable to protect and safeguard the rights of the minorities, and how some righteous, god-fearing people have actually praised the attacks. They render me speechless. Really.
Other than that, there was the attack on the Flotilla. USA seriously needs to stop treating Israel like it’s beloved brat of a child, who can get away with anything. And, I hope that UN takes strict action, and I use action and not notice here, since the impact of a “notice” on Israel is nil. UN can atleast threaten Israel with action under Chapter VII. But why would it? It’s  not any other country, but “Israel”. Hate the double-standards.

Also, I am hooked to Elizabeth Kostova’s “The Historian” these days. Awesome book if you’re into vampire-lore. I secretly believe that vampires exist in real. Don’t mock my sanity. It’s prolly because I just got over my exams, yeah?

Men are from Mars..LOL jk, they are just plain stupid.

Me:  My nails look demonic, because I painted them silver.
Hot bOi: How did you do that ? :/
Me: Err..nailpolish, anyone? -_-
Hot bOi: I thought you spray painted them!
Me: 0_0

Enough said.